yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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