Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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