apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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