His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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