He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
