It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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