I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
