got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
