a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
