Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're making bets on your personal life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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