And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Welp...herpes.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize