Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
