Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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