Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
