It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
