The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
