either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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