Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
