He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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