he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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