i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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