well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize