white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
