singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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