you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
