so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
