this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
ttyl tear gas
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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