My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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