god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize