is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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