drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
