I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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