She announced her abortion via fbk
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
