i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
