We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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