I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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