I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
