If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize