so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just crazy horny about you
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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