I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
nutella sex= disaster
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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