So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
