How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
