I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
