Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
