I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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