Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize