I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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