One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
