Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
