i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
His nipple licking is glorious
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