beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize