make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
