Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
