Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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