one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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