dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
