Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
