How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
