Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
